“parenting is f*cking hard.” - adele
I’m Nicole. Blogger, Story Teller & Creator of Motherhood like Whoa!
My journey through this crazy motherhood world has been anything but easy.
Becoming unexpectedly pregnant was just the beginning.
Our beautiful baby boy wasn't planned, so when we found out I was pregnant right in the middle of a HUGE life and business shift, I was terrified.
"Here we go" I thought.
Fast forward 9 months, and after 36 hours of I don't need pain killers ended in a c-section labour, my son entered the world. I looked at him with this love I have NEVER felt before. I mean, everyone was right...you really don't understand the love of a parent until you become a parent yourself. But I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I was right where I was supposed to be. Finally, life made sense.
Early motherhood was a freaking whirlwhind.
I'm pretty sure there were weeks I didn't wash my hair or eat more than a smoothie.
I was running on pure adrenaline...as I'm sure all mom's of a newborn do.
But the adrenaline wore off after about 8 weeks, and I was utterly exhausted.
In every sense of the way.
Emotionally. Physically. Mentally.
'Postpartum Anxiety' I thought.
But I was wrong.
Postpartum Depression was exactly what was happening to me.
And it was intense.
I wasn't really sad, but I wasn't happy either.
I loved my son so much, but I also had very little patience for those 4am wake up calls.
I didn't smile when the sun came out or when my family called.
I didn't laugh when my partner told the corniest dad jokes.
So I knew something was WRONG and I needed to fix it.
For my family.
I got help.
I spoke to my loved ones, went back to therapy, took all of the natural supplements I could, opened up to the world about my struggles and powered through.
It wasn't easy.
But here's what I learned...
I never grieved who I used to be before I was a mom. I was a free spirited, fly by the seat of my pants, stubborn woman. Now, my time, my body, my entire being belonged to someone else and I had NO idea how to deal with that. So I took the time to remember the woman I was, said goodbye to her, and fully embraced the woman I continue to grow into today.
In the beginning weeks of motherhood, I felt this immense pressure to decide on the type of mother I wanted to be. I felt guilty if I went out with my partner and hired a babysitter. I felt guilty if I decided to stay home instead of going out with my friends. But I came to realize iff I wanted to go out one night with my partner and hire a babysitter, I could. If I wanted to stay home and be a cat, I could. I didn't have to be one type of mother or the other (and to be honest, this is STILL something I'm struggling with).
Who I am as a mother is perfect. Even on the difficult days. I am the perfect person for my child.
Self compassion as a mother MUST be a daily practice. We are so hard on ourselves and the decisions we make as mothers, so it is important to be just as kind to ourselves as we are to others. Even if it means letting your baby cry for 5 minutes so you can wash the shampoo out of your hair.
Mom guilt is REAL. But if we don't put ourselves first on the daily, even by doing something small like going for a walk alone or heck, brushing our teeth, then we wont be the best versions of ourselves. And if we’re not the best version of ourselves, there's no way we can be the best momma’s for our babies.
We are better together. Their is WAY too much mom-parison out there. “Oh she shouldn’t stop breast feeding!” “Omg she co sleeps?” “Why didn’t you sleep train?” “You had a C-section by choice?” “I can’t believe you didn’t try a natural birth"!” The list goes on, and I hear moms judge each other on the daily. So it is my mission to share not only my own, but all moms #MotherhoodLikeWhoa moments. To bring ALL moms together from ALL walks of life. Because we are better together when we can talk aloud about our experiences, free from the fear of judgement!