I Don't Mean To Scare You

I write a lot about the hard times of motherhood.

The times I haven't showered in three days.  The times my son is attached to my body all day.  The times I look back and wonder how the hell did I survive.

And here's why.

Because I wish I knew.  

I wish I knew how hard it was going to be.

I mean I knew I'd be tired.  I knew life would change.  I knew I was about to enter an unknown world.  

But I didn't that it would be equal parts hard and amazing.  I didn't know I'd lose my marbles, only to then have my baby smile at me and make everything okay.  I didn't know I would count the hours until my partner got home, only then to miss my baby when he was at the park with dad.

Because that's what is missing from the online world.  The real pictures.  The honest messages.  The cold hard truth.

So I'm here, sharing it with you.  So that a mother somewhere, who spends her day wondering how the hell she's going to make it, doesn't feel so alone.

But I don't mean to scare you.

I get a lot of messages from first time pregnant moms who tell me "I wish I didn't read your blog" or "all you do is complain about motherhood" or "I'm due any day now and I'm terrified."

I also get messages of "this is everything!  Thank you!" , "I wish we could be real life mom friends" or "I'm so happy I'm not alone in this experience."

But I want to make sure you know that although I share all of the hard times...their are AMAZING times too.

Like the time I got to meet my son.

Or the time I got to see my partner hold his son for the first time.

Or the time I was terribly singing "If you're happy and you know it" and my baby smiled for the first time.

Or the time my son first looked at me and said "Mama."

Or the times my son lays his head on my shoulder, starts to drift off to sleep, and my heart melts.

Or the time I go into my sons room in the morning and he smiles and giggles.

Or the times he gets excited when I walk into a room.

Or the time I got to create a human that is equal parts me and his father.

Or the time another human changed my soul and filled my life with the deepest love.

So you see, I don't mean to scare you.

The above, is just a SMIDGEN of the good times of motherhood.  Just a glimpse into the joy I feel every day.  Just a little idea of how much love is in my life.

So if I've scared you, I'm sorry.

The good outweighs the bad in motherhood.

It's why women do it one, two, or three times over.

It's why I'm forever grateful that my energizer bunny of a son that drives me bonkers, chose ME as his mother.

So if you're wanting to get pregnant or expecting a little one in the near future, just know it's all worth it.  The love you feel as a mother is INDESCRIBABLE.  And the joy that consumes you is earth shattering.

Don't be scared. 

Be excited.  

Becoming a momma is the greatest thing I've ever done.

And it will be the greatest thing you've ever done too.

 

Love,

Nicole xo