7 Months of Motherhood
He's closer to being one year old than he is to the day he was born. How did this happen? Cue mom tears.
Sometimes when I sit down to write about my months of motherhood, I feel like I have nothing to say. I'm not sure if its because my brain is always on exhausted mom mode all of the time, or if it's because this whole mom this really is getting easier.
I know. I said the thing I promised I wouldn't say to other moms.
But aside from it getting easier, here are a few more things I've learned during month #7 of motherhood.
1) I'm coming back. The ME who I felt was gone forever, has returned. The Nicole who seemed to just disappear, is back. The fun, care free, sassy woman who was lost, is back. This new and improved version may spend a little more time at home, and less time having Sunday Funday at the bar, but I finally feel like me again. I struggled...for a long time. And if you've been following along my journey at all, this shouldn't be a surprise to you. But after a lot of self care, self discovery, and a girls weekend away, I finally feel like me again. And thank god for that.
2) My advice to all new moms...take a vacation. I recently went away for my best friends bachelorette, and aside from celebrating a woman I am so lucky to have in my life, I finally felt like me again. And to say I had a good time, is the understatement of the year. Upon leaving my little boy, I cried, got anxious, and wrote a three page to do list for my partner and mother in law. But once I left, and for 3 days after, I was able to calm down and be ME. Nicole. Not mom. Not laundry doer. Not bottle maker. Not food puree-er. Just Nicole. And honestly, I came back home to my family with more life, energy, and love than I left with. So momma's, if you're struggling with leaving your little one(s), I get it. But trust me when I say, just do it. Because I can PROMISE you, it will be the greatest gift you could ever give to yourself.
3) Making a non negotiable list for yourself is a MUST. You see, I was in a funk. I was tired, and accomplishing nothing in life or in biz. I was sort of just existing day to day. So I made a list. A list of nonnegotiable items for myself. Little things I would do every single day in order to put myself first. What was on this list? Before I get out of bed, I have to say three things I am grateful for. Before I go get my son from his bed, I have to drink a large glass of water. After I feed my son breakfast, I must eat breakfast myself. I must go to the gym 4 days a week. During my son's first nap I will shower, journal, and meditate. During my son's second nap, I will read for 30 minutes. Simple. Things I used to do every day without even having to think about it. But now, as us moms know, the to do lists, the needy baby, the messy home, gets in the way of us doing even just one thing for ourselves. I mean I couldn't even tell you how many times I've gotten to 6pm and I haven't eaten more than a smoothie or brushed my teeth. So momma, if you're struggling with self care, make a small non negotiable list and stick to it. Because I promise you, it's exactly what you need.
4) Whoever you want to be as a mom is OKAY. I've said this before, and I'll say it again - I always thought I wanted to be a stay at home mom with 4 kids and a mini van. But now that I am a stay at home mom, I realize that I need more. And I used to feel really guilty about that. But now, after my weekend away and my daily non negotiable self care list, I know I am the PERFECT mother for my child. I know that if I go away for a night or a weekend or a week, not only will my child be okay, I will definitely come home a more refreshed, more energized, more patient mother. I know that wanting to work outside of the house, will keep me sane and my family happier. I know that by putting myself first some days, my child, my relationship, and my inner being will THRIVE. So remember mommas, if your mom world is a little, or even a lot, different than you imagined, that is MORE than okay.
So those are my lessons for 7 months and 11 days of motherhood.
Yes I still haven't mastered this whole on time thing, and I'm not sure I ever will.